19 December, 2008

The Independence 'Sandwich'

Ever since our children have had their driver's licenses there has been that one looming phone call, the one every parent dreads: "I've been in an auto accident, can you come?" That call came yesterday, but not from one of our children; instead it came from one of our parents. My mother-in-law phoned to say that someone had driven into her car, my husband took the call. "She sounds fine", he said, "I'll go to where the collision occurred and see what I can do." It was immediately apparent, upon arrival, that things were worse than Mom had led on. She'll be fine, in time; the car won't be. She's bruised and stiff today, mainly due to injuries sustained from the airbag. We knew she wouldn't be driving indefinitely, but the fact that she could was one remaining bit of independence that she was holding on to, and tightly at that! Her short trips to the grocery store, post office, card shop and hair dresser were just enough to affirm her autonomy. Now, in an instant, all of that has changed. I am thankful that she, and the occupants of the other car, weren't injured any worse than bumps and bruises. But, I'm sad for her today too. The span of life to be independent, sandwiched between being cared for by others, is never as long as we'd choose.

Life is Good!
... and blessings abound, I'm remembering that today...

Posted by Picasa

15 comments:

leigh anna said...

im soooooo glad gma is ok!
and in time, the rest of us will be too! :)

Ancestor Collector said...

Oh dear, poor MIL. Her hurt over her loss of independence will take much longer to heal than the bumps and bruises, I'm afraid. My own MIL had a small accident (her fault) and that was the end of driving for her as well. Thankfully, she recognized that the time had come and she chose to stop driving, but it was a very difficult decision. We will all be there one day and I have to admit, it's not a day I'm looking forward to. But, you're right, Life is (still) good even when it isn't going the way we wish it would.

Salem Stitcher said...

Thank goodness she is okay!

Kathie said...

glad to hear she is ok, lucky that you live close enough to help her.
Yes, I agree it is sort of a sad day when they can no longer drive themselves....it is a lose of independence but a necessary one.

Margaret said...

That is the accident we oldies dread, nudge is as good as a wink they say , I hope I get the nudge first before an accident. I like everyone else is sure they are as good as when we first got our licence 52 years ago

Carrie P. said...

So sorry to hear about your mother in law. So glad everyone was not hurt very bad. We did get one of those calls when I daughter started driving. No one hurt just, the cars.
Your angel ornament is very cute too.

Heritage Quilter said...

What a blessing that she is okay physically. The loss of independence however, is a hurt that will be much longer to heal. Thoughts and prayers go to each of you.

mamaspark said...

You are so right, it never is as long as *we* choose but we have to remember that it's not our choice! I'm glad both she and the other driver are all ok. She will need your support now more than ever. She is lucky you and your husband are close enough to help her out.

Quiltdivajulie said...

Life is full of milestones - some grand, some small, some larger, and some challenging. . . ending one's driving career is a mixed blessing. The hardest part is having to ask someone to drive (none of us are great at asking for help) and/or the sense of being a bother or burden. May your love and the kindness of other ease your MIL's transition from driver to passenger... and blessings to you and yours who will be there with her all the way.

Libby said...

Good to know that everyone is physically unharmed . . . . the rest will take just a little adjustment *s*

Calamity Jane's Cottage, Bonnie said...

Oh, I hope your MIL gets to feeling better. We had to go through the same thing one year ago with my MIL. She is 86 and can't see to drive, but still golfs. The sons just line her up to the holes. It takes adjustments for everyone.
Wishing you and your family a blessed and Merry Christmas,
Bonnie

Cheryl said...

Oh I am so glad your MIL is OK. We are approaching this very situation with my husbands parents.
Your word were written so well, with such love and concern. I always try to remind myself we will all be there someday.

Pam said...

Oh my goodness! It is a very difficult time for people when it finally comes time that they can't or shouldn't be driving any longer - I see that happening a lot in my job. I think it is one of the hardest steps (or stage) of getting older. I am glad to hear everyone is alright.

Have a Merry Christmas!

meggie said...

My mother faught to be independant to the end. I am glad I could assist her in this.
Good luck to your MIL.
Have a wonderful, blessed Christmas & a Happy New Year to come. xx

Tanya said...

It may be God's way of telling her she needs to change. He protected her and the others in the car and she knows that these things can happen. I know my brother had such a time getting my mother to stop driving but she was getting to be a danger to others. There were a lot of hard feelings but I guess she knew it was time when a eldery neighbor was in a fatal accident.
Lord be with the Goodneedle's mother and help her accept the changes in her life. Amen