13 November, 2016

Like A Pike

We went to visit my dear MIL at the rehab facility today after church. She was sitting in a chair and anticipating her lunch while we were there. Her appetite is fair and her spirits are good, for those two things we are thankful. I left there feeling discouraged, however; she doesn't seem to be the least bit interested in improving her situation even one tiny bit. She has little to no desire to participate in physical therapy, she is indifferent when it comes to socialization with the other residents and shows complete disregard for the planned activities. She is content to do exactly what we found her doing today: sitting and watching television, in her room all by herself. She complained that her lips were dry, we directed her attention the lip balm on her chair-side table, not even one foot away from her. "I'm too lazy to reach over for that" was her reply. I didn't make a move to get it for her, she did pick it up and use it shortly after that. She claims to want to go home within the week, that is the frustrating part for me, her actions don't demonstrate that desire. My husband is equally discouraged but told me that he admits to suffering from "pike syndrome" when it comes to encouraging her. For years he has tried to gently coach, boost, strengthen, inspire and energize her, but she refuses; it is downright disheartening. And so, we left her, alone in her room watching television. She seemed happy enough with that. I have prayed that she can go back home again, what she has told us that she truly wants to do. I'm just not so sure about that anymore. I am fine tuning my prayers on her behalf now, asking God to impart peace and wisdom for this situation, so that she truly understands what is necessary for her own best interest. I'm praying for my husband too, that pike starved itself to death(!); my prayer is that God will enlighten him with understanding and direction along a new path.
Life is Good!
On this, the thirteenth day of November, I am thankful for
the loving role models God has provided within my family.


KaHolly said...

I can feel your frustration. Made my once a week call to a dear elderly friend, and she is all about being social, but just won't do anything about her failing legs. She just keeps putting her exercises off. We can only do the best we can, as you and your husband have been trying to do. I'll be thinking of you! XO

Janet O. said...

Very tough situation. Will they release her to go home if she isn't more of a participant in her own needs?
Hope the answers come for you all!
(dealing with senior parent care here, too--relate completely to the challenges you face)

jude's page said...

Very interesting reading about the Pike Syndrome, I too can relate as having lived with a husband that was depressed, I felt like I was wasting my time with encouragement and reassurance.

Needled Mom said...

That is so difficult. I will keep all of you in my prayers too.

Quiltdivajulie said...

Perhaps your revised prayers are wiser than you realize. Sending hugs and prayers for your journey.

45th Parallel Quilter said...

Last week I had to move my mother from assisted living to skilled care. She is no longer able to walk (more than a few shuffled steps from chair to her scooter or bed). Consequently she can no longer take care of her personal needs and skilled care was required. She refused for YEARS to do any type of physical exercise or therapy ... I kept telling her this would be her "end" but she didn't believe me. When I wheeled her into her new room which is much smaller and more "Spartan" than her previous one her comment was, "This is it??" She is now angry with me and my sisters; she doesn't want to stay there (she no longer has any options) and has refused to leave her room to even eat with other residents. I pray constantly that He will guide me through this part of her journey and help me make the right choices for her. It is very, very hard ... emotionally and is also taking a physical toll on me, my husband and siblings. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers also. Linda